Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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