so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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