i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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