11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
