Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
