The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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