Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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