I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
