But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
