I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
