The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
