I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
