things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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