I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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