our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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