i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
