3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
