Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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