Me too!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
