speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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