Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
