Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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