Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
so much tequila, so little girl.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
