This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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