So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
