its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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