Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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