she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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