I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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