I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
