those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
