We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
