hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
