redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
