No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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