God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
