All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just high enough for therapy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
