things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
