take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
