well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize