like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
