Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my poor anus
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
