Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You made out with two different species that night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
