Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
