We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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