Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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