he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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