you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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