This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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