My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
