come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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