I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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